A typical supercommuter spends 90 minutes or extra a technique commuting to work or college. As the price of residing continues to outpace wage development, supercommuting is rising in recognition. In accordance with a current U.S. Census Bureau report, an estimated 5 million individuals are actually supercommuters—up from roughly 3.42 million in 2012.
I hate lengthy commutes. Taking the bus or driving to work was certainly one of my high three annoyances whereas I used to be employed.
Once I retired in 2012, one of many best joys was by no means having to commute once more. Getting again that point, power, and psychological readability was a very lifestyle-enhancing good thing about retirement. Then, when the pandemic hit in 2020, hundreds of thousands around the globe bought to expertise that very same freedom. Is there any surprise why it’s been so exhausting to persuade staff to return to the workplace?
On this submit, I wish to spotlight the hidden toll of supercommuting to work or college. Positive, you’ll spend extra on fuel in the event you drive. However that’s just the start. So before you purchase a extra reasonably priced dwelling in trade for an extended commute, be forewarned: the trade-offs is probably not price it.
My Expertise With Supercommuting
After deciding to not pony up a small fortune for a trip rental in Honolulu, I opted for my household of 4 to stick with my mother and father for as much as 5 weeks. They’ve three free bedrooms of their five-bedroom home, and it’s a house I’ve returned to for 39 years. It feels comfy to me, however to not all.
A few of you thought this was a great way to save cash. Others—largely girls—stated it was merciless to topic my spouse to such “confinement” for thus lengthy. I get it. Staying along with your in-laws for various days is so much to ask, particularly with out en suite loos or separate kitchens and entrances. And never all people likes to be in Hawaii in the course of the summer time warmth.
Nonetheless, the most cost effective appropriate three-bedroom rental I might discover price $16,000 after taxes and costs. A nothing fancy four-bedroom rental, with no pool, which we favored, was $24,000. After proudly owning actual property since 2003, I simply can’t convey myself to spend that a lot on a brief keep that builds no fairness.
To discover a compromise, we stayed at my aunt and uncle’s place on the North Shore—as much as 1.5 hours away—after 13 days with my mother and father, to present each my spouse and mother a break for 9 days. It gave me a break too as I might return to residing with out fear of doing issues in a means that will agitate my mother, e.g. minimize fruit on the best facet of the sink as a substitute of the left.
The youngsters have been completely happy wherever they have been, so everybody gained, effectively, apart from me who needed to drive ~2.5 extra hours a day for 5 days. In complete, we stayed on the North Shore for 9 nights (two weekends and M-F).
The False Begin
We picked up our youngsters at 4:55 p.m. Friday from summer time college at Punahou to move to Laie for the weekend. All was effectively—till six minutes in, our five-year-old daughter introduced she needed to pee. I circled and went again to high school so she wouldn’t have to carry it.
Had we been commuting from my mother and father’ home, simply eight-to-ten minutes away, I might’ve simply stored driving. That’s one surprising price of supercommuting—having to handle bodily capabilities mid-ride. Most adults can uncomfortably maintain it for an hour or two. However youngsters? Not a lot.
We lastly arrived in Laie an hour and half-hour later. The youngsters napped for 35 minutes, so the journey felt like a breeze to them. Though I used to be drained, I used to be additionally excited to benefit from the freedom of getting our personal area once more.

The Monday Morning Supercommute
After a enjoyable weekend crammed with Pokémon Go Fest, Giovanni’s garlic shrimp, and seashore walks, actuality returned Monday morning.
I handed out by 10 p.m. Sunday after placing the children down by 9:20 with my spouse. I awakened at 2:45 a.m. to get a head begin on publishing a brand new submit, responding to feedback, and going for a morning stroll on the seashore.
The youngsters awakened at 6:30 a.m., and we left by 6:55 to make it to high school by 8. Again in Honolulu, we often go away at 7:40, so the sooner begin was uncomfortable for my spouse and daughter, who aren’t morning individuals.
Immediately, I might inform the drive would take longer than anticipated. We have been caught behind a gasoline tanker on a single-lane highway for about 15 miles, averaging simply 32 mph as a substitute of the standard 40.
About 45 minutes in, I bought a textual content from my spouse thanking me for the experience and the peace and quiet. At a cease gentle, I couldn’t assist replying with a GPS screenshot to indicate the place we have been—7 minutes delayed. Normally, the GPS arrival time was conservative and straightforward to beat.
However then I made a mistake. I resumed driving whereas glancing on the screenshot I had despatched her as a substitute of the dwell Apple Maps. That mind fart price us one other 11 minutes. As an alternative of arriving at 8:06 a.m., we bought to high school at 8:16. Ugh—I hate being late.

A Place To Hold Out Made Supercommuting Extra Manageable
At first, I believed I’d simply hang around on the seashore or mall all day earlier than selecting the children up at 4:55 p.m. My spouse additionally wished me to choose up some groceries. No downside. There was no means I used to be going to drive 1.15 hours again to Laie after drop off after which do it once more within the afternoon. I figured I’d nap within the automotive underneath a banyan tree if I needed to.
Then I remembered my mother and father’ home was solely 8 minutes farther. I might write, relaxation, and handle the renovation of an in-law unit I used to be engaged on. Having a house base made the day way more manageable. If I needed to additionally work a full-time job throughout that commute, I might’ve been utterly wiped.
Actually, after dropping off the children, I spent the day within the metropolis writing a submit, recording a solo podcast episode, speaking to my mother and father, grabbing lunch, and squeezing in a fast 15-minute nap.
Then I handled the handyman, swung by Complete Meals for groceries, and picked up the children at 4:55 p.m. The day flew by—and by the tip of it, the considered driving quarter-hour to high school and 1 hour and quarter-hour again to Laie throughout rush hour was the very last thing I wished to do.
The Subsequent Day of Supercommuting (Good Then Dangerous)
By the second day of supercommuting, I felt extra assured. I knew the route higher and had discovered from my errors. I bought the children to high school 10 minutes early and shaved 20 minutes off the drive. It felt like a small win. However in fact, good issues by no means final.
Once I arrived at my mother and father’ home the plumbers had already proven up early. Then, half-hour later, the handyman arrived. In complete, I spent 9 hours managing 5 completely different staff attempting to repair up our long-neglected in-law unit. I hate reworking and swore to by no means accomplish that once more. However right here I used to be, like a masochist, doing it once more whereas I used to be presupposed to be enjoyable on trip.
To profit from the downtime, I introduced my laptop computer exterior and labored on a brand new submit. However with the solar blazing and temps hitting 85 levels, I used to be drained by mid-afternoon.
By 4:40 p.m., all I wished to do was lie down in an air-conditioned room and take a nap. However no such luxurious. I needed to hop again within the automotive, drive by means of rush hour to choose up the children, then endure one other 1 hour and 13 minutes again to Laie.
My zest for all times? Gone. After 10 minutes of small discuss with the children about their day, I turned on some music and simply listened like a zombie. I didn’t have the power to maintain the dialog going.
By the point we bought dwelling, I used to be toast—only a drained, barely grumpy dad who wished nothing greater than to relax and crack open a chilly beer.
Constructive Ideas To Intestine On Via
Despite the fact that I used to be commuting about 2.5 hours additional a day, I informed myself it was price it—for my spouse’s happiness, my mother’s privateness, and even my youngsters’ resilience. Perhaps the longer commute would construct their endurance and educate them the worth of waking up early.
Maybe most significantly, my spouse appreciated the trouble I put in to make her completely happy. Judging by her FaceTime calls from the seashore, she positively appeared extra relaxed and content material! With appreciation, I used to be motivated to maintain on supercommuting.
As a father, you do what you possibly can to offer. A little bit additional effort plus some problem-solving goes a protracted method to making a suboptimal scenario higher. Received to assume constructive! Up to now, it by no means occurred to me commuting from Laie to downtown Honolulu could be an possibility.
In addition to, figuring out the supercommuting stint was non permanent made it tolerable. My youngsters had Friday off for the 4th of July, so I solely needed to supercommute for 4 days—a complete of ~11 hours of further driving. Oh yeah, however I forgot about including the 2 halves of driving up Thursday evening and returning Monday morning. So extra like 13.5 hours of additional driving.
The Hidden Prices of Supercommuting
At first look, supercommuting may look like an affordable trade-off. Save 20–60% on housing and spend an additional two hours and thirty minutes commuting a day? Perhaps not so dangerous, particularly if the median dwelling worth is above $1 million.
However along with a whole lot extra in fuel and transit prices every month, listed below are different downsides:
- Elevated danger of harm or loss of life – Extra time on the highway means extra publicity to accidents, particularly when driving with youngsters. I actually noticed a automotive on a residential road close to my guardian’s home flip upside-down as a result of it bought t-boned at an intersection. One of many vehicles did not cease on the cease signal.
- Greater stress and cortisol ranges – Dangerous drivers, site visitors jams, and highway rage add up, draining your emotional reserves for the day and night. You may find yourself growing continual ache, elevate your stress ranges, and finally, shorten your lifespan in consequence.
- Put on and tear in your automobile – Extra miles imply extra upkeep, particularly in case your automotive isn’t ultra-reliable. You will even have to exchange issues extra typically, like your tires and brakes.
- Better probability of getting tickets – From parking errors to rushing tickets, elevated driving time raises your probabilities of infractions. In flip, your automotive insurance coverage premiums might go up.
- Lowered happiness and concord along with your vital different – Lengthy commutes drain your power and endurance, which suggests by the point you get dwelling, you is perhaps extra irritable, checked out, or simply plain exhausted. Small disagreements can flare up extra simply when one or each of you’re working on fumes. Over time, the emotional toll of being bodily distant and mentally unavailable provides up.
If You Are Going To Often Supercommute
Should you plan to supercommute often, two issues are crucial: a secure, dependable automotive and life insurance coverage.
My spouse and I’ve matching 20-year time period life insurance coverage insurance policies, which have supplied large peace of thoughts. I like to recommend locking in an reasonably priced coverage by means of Policygenius to cowl your money owed and shield your kids till they develop into adults.
Right here in Honolulu, nonetheless, we don’t have what I’d contemplate a safe-enough automotive for long-term supercommuting. We’re utilizing my dad’s 1997 Toyota Avalon. Whereas it’s a nostalgic beast, it has poor acceleration for evasive driving, a wobbly axle, shaky brakes above 45 mph, no facet curtain or rear airbags, no blind spot detectors, no sensors, and no rear digicam. I’m not even positive the entrance airbags work.
Because of this, I drive slowly and attempt to keep additional alert. The one saving grace is that the velocity limits between the North Shore and Honolulu are comparatively low—35 mph on the single-lane “freeway” and 50 mph on the primary freeways. So it’s not like mainland highways the place individuals routinely push 70–85 mph.
If we return to this similar residing and commuting association once more, I plan to lease a brand new automotive for $100/day. It’ll not solely be safer, nevertheless it’ll additionally release my dad to run errands in the course of the week with his personal 28-year-old automotive. A win-win.
Remaining Ideas on Supercommuting
Supercommuting may look like a wise monetary transfer, particularly when housing close to work is unaffordable. However earlier than you commit, look past the financial savings. Residing in a smaller home or house to avoid wasting time commuting is my desire .
Each hour on the highway is an hour not spent along with your family members. Each disturbing drive takes a toll in your temper, focus, and well being. And each surprising delay chips away at your endurance—particularly once you’re juggling the calls for of household life and work.
Personally, a comparable dwelling would must be a minimum of 70% cheaper to justify including two additional hours of commuting every day. And even then, I’m undecided the trade-off could be well worth the toll on my time, power, and well-being. The time I get to spend with my youngsters after college is just too treasured to sacrifice.
Should you dwell inside quarter-hour of each your work and your kids’s college, contemplate your self lucky. Whereas distant work surged in the course of the pandemic, in-person collaboration has made a robust comeback. Because of this, well-located properties in job-centric cities—particularly the place provide is constrained—might outperform sooner or later.
If you are going to supercommute, have a plan. Know your timeline. Perceive your causes. And ensure the trade-off is really price it. As a result of ultimately, a less expensive dwelling isn’t price it if it leaves you drained and hating life.
Readers, are any of you supercommuters? In that case, how do you make the lengthy transportation time extra bearable? Are there any surprising advantages to supercommuting past saving on housing prices or being nearer to household or a greater college? I might love to listen to your methods and insights.
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